3.25.2011

Run Roschelle Run!

I am more than 50 pounds down from my highest weight and I am feeling great.   I still have another 150lbs to lose but I am encouraged that I will get there.   As I the pounds are shed  I had a realization that my self protective barriers were being stripped away too.   I have used food and my weight to guard what was really going on inside. i.e. The pain of losing my daughters, things from my childhood, and being rejected due to my weight. As each pound goes I have to face the problem or issue that put the pound there and across it.  

Today-I am facing one of those triggers - Grief and Loss.  Imose older daughter would be a 4th grader and graduating this year from lower Elementary school.  I realized that I'm going to face milestones like this for the rest of my life and they are going to be difficult.    I use to turn to my 1# at Chik-Fil-A and a milkshake but I can't now.   Food no longer has that hold on me to fill my emotional voids.   I had to face the fact that I was in pain and hurting and deal with it.    So I prayed.  Chatted with a few close friends about my memories of my beautiful daughter.  Then finally put on my Steven Curtis Chapman "Beauty Will Rise" CD and  went for a run.  I ran so hard that I thought I was going to fly off the trend mill.   I felt like I wanted to run until the pain in my legs equal the pain my heart.  What I realized after my 25mins  of my interval workout was complete, was I can't out run this thing.    I could only continue to allow God to carry this load for me as I walk along side of him.    I am not only coming out of the Fat but out of the pain the fat was covering.    I hope this helps someone.   Keep your head up in the ambition for a healthier life! 

4 comments:

Dionne said...

I am so proud of you! You are going to change the world with your story.

Soph said...

You CAN do it!!!!

Irene Easterling said...

I am so Proud of you darl!

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