Roschelle Ogbuji at Donate Life Hollywood Inspire Awards

Roschelle Ogbuji at Donate Life Hollywood Inspire Awards

Donate Life Hollywood Inspired Stars, producers, and other entertainment personality with the gift of life and hope. On this Wednesday, I had the honor of presenting an award to The Nate Berkus Show for covering our daughter Anya's Gift of hope and life by being an organ donor. I have to say that I was very overwhelmed with love by the reception of other donor families and transplant patients. I had the opportunity to meet a beautiful woman who lost her daughter at 25yrs. in a riding accident over 10 years ago and made the decision to donate. She was featured in a short film sponsored by Donate Life Hollywood and the winner of the Donate Life Hollywood Film of the Year Award. She spoke honestly about her anger and frustration at the death of her daughter as well the decision to donate. She calls her daughter's recipients her caretakers. Isn't that Awesome! I was moved by her rawness and honestly in her emotions. I could identify with her on so many levels. I haven't experienced anger or hatred toward my recipients, which she expressed. I have experienced anger at the shear fact that I lost my girls and their senseless deaths. Those seasons will come and go for the rest of my life but I am honest with myself when I am in one of them. I often tell others around when I'm in one of those season, so they can understand that the anger hasn't anything to do with them per se but its deep within my soul. For the most part those people close enough to see the anger and pain manifest are quite generous with Grace. I digressed. Back to the Donate Life Hollywood experience. There were many celebrities and producers being honored for their work in T.V. and Film on the topic of organ donation and transplantation.  A producer from Family Guy was from Beachwood, Ohio!  That was cool to know that Ohio was representing!  Another celebrity writer was from Shaker Heights as well.  He grew up here and hasn't found any other place like it in the world.   That was great to know as well.  Another One of them that was honored and I had an opportunity to meet and talk with was Brad Ellis from Glee. He is the pianist on the show and is in every scene that Rachel and Finch belt out their powerful duets. Brad is a heart recipient. Over ten years ago he was given a second chance at life and with his career as a musician. After the awards he asked to speak with me and commended me on making a powerful decision to live and celebrate life despite the darkness that I could allow to envelope my thoughts and life. I was humbled by his words of encouragement. I told him that these next words I was going to steal and coin as my own because they resonated so well with my soul. He told me that lots of people go through hard things in life and it weighs them down so they can't enjoy life. "You have a light that is powerful". It could have went out on Dec.1. 2007 but it didn't. Because you relied on something outside of yourself to fuel you through the abyss of grief, pain, and sadness you are able to give off that light as powerful as the experience you went through. Some people can project the pain they have gone through but not joy at the same level. You can! Then I told him my secret.... It's requires a few home and office supplies to carry it out. "Brad", I said "I'm Duck Taped and Stapled to the Cross. I am not leaning, clinging, or neighing but Grafted to it for life." "That light that you see in me is The SON shining His light through me. When I try to do it in my own power I lose that light and my human emotions and selfishness is blinding to those around me. However, as I have discover that His light is not flawed in anyway so I only want that to come through me. Still working on doing that all the times. " We go through things in life to bring us to an appointment that those events help us to reach. I don't wish anything l've gone through on anyone but God knows what he is doing and how he is preparing each of us toward our calling and purpose. I would have thought this comment was something to store away in my mental Rolodex to pull out when needed in the years to come, but as fate has it another messenger was sent to me with a similar message. On my way back home from Hollywood, I missed two flights and was highly upset about the senselessness of the situation. Then as I was preparing to leave the airport for the second time, I thought to myself that their must be someone on the next flight that God wants me to meet. I was halfheartedly joking but also knew that the circumstances that lead to missing each flight was obscured.  Well, there was! Her name was YVE Evans and she is a world renowned Jazz and Gospel singer. (I didn't know who she was at the time of our meeting until she told me.) I'll have to write a separate blog about what she told me because it is so profound and I am still processing the message. It actually made sense out of all the craziness I have been dealing with over the last 5months.  Actually, over the last 3.5 years.  What she said was this, " What you are going through is to help you understand people who will go through this in the future. How can you have creditability if you haven't gone through and come out in tact? God will use you to go into the darkness to help people see His light. He has given you His light to guide for those who have closed him out directly. Like Sojourn Truth and Harriet Tubman you are going to bring people out into freedom with your story and testimony of faith and hope. Be Real. Don't hide your mistakes and failures because you will use them as your badge of truth and transparency. In this message she told me that as I raise and fall and raise again. I am building a legacy for my children here now. They are seeing my perseverance in faith and life. The transparency you live out before them will make your testimony even more powerful and they will stand in a generation that refuses to stand. " I was so blown away by her message that I was speechless! I know, I know, me....SPEECHLESS! There wasn't a total eclipsed of the sun that day and the temperature in Cleveland didn't go below zero. I didn't have anything to say and I just received the message that God found away to get to me. I always say that we can all have burning bush experiences if we slow down and look for them in the everyday moments that turn into extraordinary experiences. By Golly my Cali-Holli trip was all around that and a side of grits!!!! I will write more about the wonderful women I met from my Mocha Moms, Inc. who attended the Inspire Awards with me. Until then Stay Blessed.

Humilty A Noble Attribute

Simply put humility is not the most popular attribute that people are seeking.   It's sad to say that most people, (including myself) run from it instead of embracing the lessons that it can teach us about strength and determination.   Why is it that people don't equate success and power with humility?   I believe it has a lot to do with our own desires to put self above everything else.  I should add that many of us put self before God.  I admit that I put my own desires and interest before God many times.  Do I intentionally do it?  No. However, I do it when I put my agenda before His.  When I don't obey his voice telling me to not do something that I know will come back to kick me.   When my EGO becomes to large to receive the feedback that is so needed in my life.  People also don't want to be humble because we are too busy trying to make our own light out shine everyone elses.   We don't want to be looked upon as weak or  powerless.  When I look at some of the most powerful people  that brought about change and had vast influence they all had one consistence theme, and that is humility.   Ghandi, Mandela, MLK, and Mother Teresa.   Last but not least Jesus Christ, aka "JC", exhibited humility in the most perfect form.    I guess I'm writing this because I've had moments this week that lack humility and meekness (Strength under control) and found myself wondering if I am the only one that has issues with this or not.   I am finding that it is a powerful weapon for alliances and progress.   I know that when I am not exhibiting this quality I am not living up to my full potential as servant of God.  My prayer for my life is to allow God's gentle hand to cultivate humility in my life more.  

Romans 12:3 (New International Version)

Humble Service in the Body of Christ

 ³ For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

I AM.

Who we are and how we behave has more to do with our connectedness then we thought.   This was one  of the themes of the new documentary movie titled " I AM".   It was very powerful to see the science behind how  and why cooperation is more beneficial to our survival then competition.  They called our obsession with bigger, better, more as a Mental Illness.  I don't know if I would go that far but I would say that it can drive you to think your crazy.   Are we too driven by competition and materialism?    Does more things really make you happier and secure?   I like nice things and the comfort they afford but I can't indulge in those things peacefully when I know someone is going hungry down the road.   How many people could we assist if we only consumed what we need and nothing more.   I would be skinny.   Some of us wouldn't be in debt.  We would be satisfied with what we had and nothing more.   When we  get this utopia please wake me and let me know.

FEAR NOT!

F.E.A.R. Stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.   I remember a time when fear ruled a large part of my life.  Fear of: Rejection, Pain, Failure, Being Open, Loss, Being without, being alone, Future, etc.  You name it and I feared it.  But most people wouldn't have know that I even dealt with this because I was so afraid of being rejected and showing vulnerability that I masked this from the world. The only ones who knew the truth were Me and God.  I overcame this fear by facing the thing I feared most head on with God's Grace. (Another story and another time.)  After realizing that I wasted so much time fearing things and not living the life I was called to live I discovered how my fear damaged those around me. When your dealing with Fear in your own life you have a tendency to project negativity into the lives of those around you.   How is that?  By being hypercritical of everyone and every situation.  By putting unrealistic expectations on them.  By rejecting them before they can reject you.   I know I am not  just talking about myself with these examples. I thank God that through the challenges in my own life God has been able to free me from the trappings of FEAR.   I find that it is  liberating to not have to pretend and be myself.  I find it amazingly refreshing to live a transparent life with no apologizes about my imperfections.  We all have them and its the reason why we need God.  He is strong when I am weak.   I am humble when I seek assistance from my fellow neighbors who has the strengths I am lacking.   Fear is so underrated!  When we look at the world and what we can accomplish if we just put Fear aside and embrace Love, Empathy, and Cooperation  I am energized!   I AM Free to be ME!  The Me God has called me to be and I am unapologetic about who I AM.  Instead of Fearing the attributes that God has given me or rejecting myself because it doesn't fit the mold that someone else wants me to be I AM EMBRACING them.    What I now know is that there are many people still locked in the prison of FEAR.   When you've been there yourself you know how to spot someone still there.  The change that I want to be in the world is to walk in complete freedom of FEAR.  I don't want to apologize for myself because others don't like me or choose not to understand the beauty God has placed in me.   Everything that happens in our lives is meant to develop us more into the likeness of Christ. Whether if it is Good, Bad, or Ugly it should call us to a greater awareness of belonging to the Creator and his redemptive gift of Christ.   God has given us many things Power, Love, and a Sound Mind. Not one of which is FEAR! 

Run Roschelle Run!

I am more than 50 pounds down from my highest weight and I am feeling great.   I still have another 150lbs to lose but I am encouraged that I will get there.   As I the pounds are shed  I had a realization that my self protective barriers were being stripped away too.   I have used food and my weight to guard what was really going on inside. i.e. The pain of losing my daughters, things from my childhood, and being rejected due to my weight. As each pound goes I have to face the problem or issue that put the pound there and across it.  

Today-I am facing one of those triggers - Grief and Loss.  Imose older daughter would be a 4th grader and graduating this year from lower Elementary school.  I realized that I'm going to face milestones like this for the rest of my life and they are going to be difficult.    I use to turn to my 1# at Chik-Fil-A and a milkshake but I can't now.   Food no longer has that hold on me to fill my emotional voids.   I had to face the fact that I was in pain and hurting and deal with it.    So I prayed.  Chatted with a few close friends about my memories of my beautiful daughter.  Then finally put on my Steven Curtis Chapman "Beauty Will Rise" CD and  went for a run.  I ran so hard that I thought I was going to fly off the trend mill.   I felt like I wanted to run until the pain in my legs equal the pain my heart.  What I realized after my 25mins  of my interval workout was complete, was I can't out run this thing.    I could only continue to allow God to carry this load for me as I walk along side of him.    I am not only coming out of the Fat but out of the pain the fat was covering.    I hope this helps someone.   Keep your head up in the ambition for a healthier life! 

Becoming Roschelle - Words are Powerful!

Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have power to create conditions in your life.What you speak about, you can bring about. If you keep saying you can't stand your job, you might lose your job. If you keep saying you can't stand your body, your body can become sick. If you keep saying you can't stand your car, your car could be stolen or just stop operating. If you keep saying you're broke, guess what? You'll always be broke. If you keep saying you can't trust a man or trust a woman, you will always find someone in your life to hurt and betray you. If you keep saying you can't find a job, you will remain unemployed. If you keep saying you can't find someone to love you or believe in you, your very thought will attract more experiences to confirm your beliefs. If you keep talking about a divorce or break up in a relationship, then you might end up with it. Turn your thoughts and conversations around to be more positive and powerpacked with faith, hope, love and action. Don't be afraid to believe that you can have what you want and deserve. Watch your Thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your Habits, they become character. Watch your Character, for it becomes your Destiny. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settle for. In the search for Roschelle, I discovered truth. In the search for truth, I discovered love. In the search for love, I discovered God. And in the search for God, I have found everything. I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is. Know that you are Blessed!